Waggling a dildo around on live TV is not big or clever. But at least it adds a bit of colour (in this case, it was purple)...

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Now that Sky Sports News has banned fans from its transfer deadline day coverage, there's no frenzied atmosphere to support the idea that this is chock full of exciting, informative breaking news – rather than mostly repeated rumours and the occasional update on a youth team loan deal.

Without the fans it's just men in suits standing in car parks, reporting on... well, cars mostly (who could be driving? Where are they going? Who's paid for the petrol?)

No wonder people are calling this the most boring transfer deadline day ever.

Instead of wondering whether some clever sod would ruffle reporter David Craig's hair, the biggest controversy so far has been Gary Neville's neckwear.

It was Sky Sports that encouraged the supporters to get involved – setting up cameras outside football grounds and hinting at a bit of good news after that depressing January defeat.

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Sky banned dildo-waving fans because it wanted to add a semblance of seriousness to its coverage. Unfortunately, all it did was highlight what a load of balls deadline day really is.

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Create an image depicting a festive scene with elements from the top Christmas songs, such as a snowy New York for 'Fairytale of New York', a cozy home setting for 'Last Christmas', and a glamorous Christmas party for 'All I Want for Christmas Is You'. Include musical notes and festive decorations to represent the spirit of these iconic Christmas songs.

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An image depicting a festive scene with iconic Christmas elements such as a beautifully decorated Christmas tree with twinkling lights, snow gently falling, and perhaps a cozy fireplace in the background. The image should capture the essence of popular Christmas songs, with musical notes and lyrics subtly included in the design, representing a playlist of classic Christmas tunes.

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Immediate’s iconic brands reach 21m people every month – that’s more than a third of the UK’s adults – through its world-class magazines, innovative digital products and exciting live eventsImmediate’s iconic brands reach 21m people every month – that’s more than a third of the UK’s adults – through its world-class magazines, innovative digital products and exciting live eventsImmediate’s iconic brands reach 21m people every month – that’s more than a third of the UK’s adults – through its world-class magazines, innovative digital products and exciting live events

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