This week in Soapland: 25 - 29 June

Eastenders

A list of Michael's sins would make War and Peace look like a Post-it note, so it's no surprise he sees his baby's fragile state as punishment. Janine too is overwrought, and not helped by comforter Ricky, a man who wears the baffled expression of someone asked to fix the eurozone crisis by a week next Tuesday. Away from Walford General, Derek - whose means of communication are limited to intimidate, punch and kill - must make nice with son Joey.

Coronation Street

At the first sign of stress, Peter Barlow becomes a blur of fists, B&H King Size and tattoos. So imagine the rage when he spies a reconciled Leanne and Nick taking care of pint-sized booze bandit Simon. The Bistro witnesses another stand-off, while Carla looks as if she regrets not sticking with Trev the binman. Marcus is also arousing suspicion as he takes workmate Aiden under his wing. Will Sean be able to concentrate on stitching gussets?

Emmerdale

Having already threatened to blast Brenda with a bazooka, Val really does get physical when she loses control of a moped she's bought for Amy's birthday and ploughs straight into Pollard. Thankfully, the fact that he can be classified as invertebrate means there's zero risk of spinal injury. Cameron isn't displaying much in the way of backbone either: he and part-time lover Chas have grown tired of the romantic allure of the Woolpack's lavs and plan to do a flit.