Noel Fielding: "The X Factor makes me want to top myself"

Mork & Mindy. An English version would be the perfect role for me: to be an alien who comes out of an egg and talks rubbish all the time in a jump suit.

Do you have your eye on any other roles?

I wouldn’t mind being on Doctor Who. I like the guy who does it at the moment and I thought David Tennant was amazing, but next I think we need an androgynous, slightly dippy Doctor who gets everything wrong...

What makes you blush?

Art Garfunkel’s song Bright Eyes makes me go red. I don’t know why; it’s a childhood thing.

What makes you blubber?

Gok Wan – when he makes people look really good and transforms their lives. And most films. I cried watching Paris, Texas the other day, and Kramer vs Kramer kills me.

What makes you turn off ?

Big Brother, The X Factor, TOWIE, Made in Chelsea... I can’t even look at those things. Watching bland people singing karaoke on The X Factor makes me want to top myself.

Which would you throw out of the window – the TV, the computer or the radio?

I find computers complicated and annoying. It doesn’t help that I live almost on Hampstead Heath so I can never get a signal and want to punch my computer all the time.

What do you tune into on the radio?

Classical music, the shipping forecast and I sometimes put a French channel on; I’ve got no idea what they’re talking about but I admire the way the French speak – so furious and fast. You can tell that they just love life.

Who’s your comedy hero?

Peter Cook. I love that he looked like a pop star when he was young. Spike Milligan probably possessed the best comedy mind ever: surreal leaps and amazing, almost philosophical jokes.

How does your new comedy compare to The Mighty Boosh?

It’s a purer form of madness: lots of little plots, characters, animation and ridiculousness. My brother’s in it playing a butler, Andy Warhol’s my cleaner, and there’s an eco-German-tranny character.

Where do you find your ideas?

Artists like Magritte and Rousseau and I read a lot of Beat writers, like Richard Brautigan and Jack Kerouac. But not comedy: I think if you get your ideas from comedy, you can never transcend it.

Have you ever been starstruck?

When Mick Jagger winked at me at the Isle of Wight festival. Inwardly I was shrieking, “Oh my God, it’s Mick!” and outwardly I could only “erm” at him.

Your fans are very loyal. Ever get sent anything strange?

I get loads of mail. Gifts, sweets, jewellery, scarves, letters, masks, statues – some quite strange stuff but it’s affectionate, never creepy.

Any marriage proposals?

Every day – on Twitter. No one really wants to marry a man who looks like a weird gnome.

Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy begins on Thursday at 10pm on E4