Carrie Fisher pitches her ideas for Star Wars: Episode VII

Fisher, who confirmed in March that she will be reprising her role from the original trilogy, has pitched her ideas for the plot of the long-awaited follow-up to Return Of The Jedi. The farce, as you may expect, is strong with this one.

“Han Solo and I have been unhappily married for many years, and so we speak through the wookies and use a translator,” she told a reporter, not entirely seriously, at Australian convention Sydney Supanova. “I regularly say to R2 ‘Tell that son of a bitch to ***!’ And we have children, but one of them looks a lot like Chewbacca, and we use Yoda, who’s regenerated on a planet somewhere, for marital therapy. I urge Chewie to get waxed for sure!

“There’s also a lot of shopping because there’s cool things to buy and giant planets that are shopping malls. Alderaan means shopping mall by the way. And then I start sleeping with robots, how about that?”

Whether or not director JJ Abrams heeds her call for a ground-breaking drama centered an inter-species affair remains to be seen. We'll all just have to wait until 2015 to find out.